blame it on la

Holy Cow! It's been a while. Don't hate, I haven't gone anywhere, even the most prolific writers have to take breaks from time to time. What? Do you think Judy Blume publishes a book every week! I'm sure she took a little hiatus after "Are you there God? It's Me, Margaret." I know I would have. It is a masterpiece after all. I'll have to look into that. If you're gonna go the extreme route and assume that I've been at the compound in Michigan training with the militia and preparing for the war against the "mud people," then once again, you're dead wrong. The truth is I was a little depressed, totally uninspired and probably a little lazy. I took some time to hibernate and stay in bed for days at a time. Self pity is awesome if you want to catch up on some sleep. Don't worry, It wasn't a total loss, I learned a lot. I did some research and built a mock crack den in my living room, sans crack of course. It was more of a decorating motif. Don't believe me? Just you watch! Everyone is going to be doing "early crack den" next year. When you walk into your friend's house and there are a dozen empty water bottles on the coffee table, two weeks worth of mail on the couch, 5 pairs of assorted shoes and socks on the floor, and a gaggle of empty wine bottles everywhere, just remember who started that. You heard it hear first people. So it's time to climb from the depths and out of my hole. I've decided to burn my sheets, kick the tissue boxes off of my feet, cut my nails back 8 inches, and trim my beard so I can donate it to "Locks of Love." Helping kids makes me feel good. Turns out being sad kind of blows, and I'm kinda over it. Of course there's one fact that will never change, LA Sucks, but since it's so good at sucking, maybe i can finally make it my bitch! Hallelujah Hollaback!