blame it on la

Wow! It's about time. What a great day! Our president is going to be the first incumbent president to appear on a late night talk show. Awesome. Not just awesome, but super awesome. Don't get me wrong. I don't think it's awesome because I care what he has to say. I'm pretty sure he'll talk about the economy and how we'll have to make tough decisions in order to come out the other end of this national/worldwide crisis. Jay might even squeeze in a joke or two about basketball. I don't really expect him to say much. In fact I hate to admit that I'll even be home to watch since it's on a Thursday night. Nope, the reason I'm excited is because it seems like ole Barry has finally figured out that people who don't work in the daytime are sick and tired of him constantly busting in on "The View" with his press conferences. Yeah, way to make me miss "Hot Topics" dude? I need my daily dose of Sherri Shepard cluelessness and Hasselbeck psychosis to get me through the day. I just can't get that when the President busts into my programming once a week at 11am sharp.

I can't be the only person who's excited about this. People seem to think that Big Barry hitting Leno is some hip way for him to meet the people and open himself up to some of the best softball questions this side of the RNC. I submit to you that the reason Mr. B is finally taking his message to late night, is because the networks are tired of giving him free airtime and losing money every time he feels the need to update us on this 'broke down' economy. With Barry O hitting up Jay Leno, everybody wins. People forget that Jay Leno isn't all that funny and Mr. B gets to get his message across while looking cool and in control. Most importantly NBC can jack up their advertising rates for Jay's anxiously awaited prime time show. Synergy baby. Hey man, whatever works. I'll be in bed by then anyway.

Ok, so it may seem like I've been writing a lot about commercials lately. Well, I have, but there's a perfectly good explanation for that. Turns out that the lovely program that provides me with both my bread and my butter is on hiatus until the beginning of the year. Loosely translated that means that my days consist mostly of rolling out of bed, carrying my duvet to the couch, preparing my nutritious breakfast of oatmeal, bananas and chocolate syrup, and then watching The View to see if Sherri Shepard will try to make an argument against trees producing oxygen. Once I'm done with that I always look forward to my daily paternity update on Maury. I can't stress it enough people, knowledge is power and I just know that one day I'm going to meet someone on the street and be able to say "OMG! I totally know who your father is! Your mom was awesome when she jumped up and did the splits after the test proved Cantrone really was your daddy! Good luck to you and make sure he takes care of his responsibilities!" See had I not had the information, that whole exchange would have been pretty awkward! I just like to do my part.

I've learned so much watching daytime television and I'm not afraid to say that I love it, after all making it is my chosen profession. For example did you know that there are schools or "colleges" out there that will let you attend classes even without a high school diploma or a GED? They're awesome, they'll work with you before work, they'll work with you after work. Hey, they don't want you to do it for your mom, not for your kids. No! They want you to go for you! All you have to do is make the call! As a matter of fact, some of America's best and brightest video game designers are alumni of a few of these esteemed establishments. No, really! Look!
Dude! Sweet! Dude! Sweet!

See! If I was sitting in an office somewhere like some douchebag, I would have never found out about this awesome institution and all the opportunities it has to offer! I just wish someone would have told me about these super schools when I was trying my hardest to get on the bottom of the honor roll. Well, I like to spread the word, so that others don't have to suffer the injustices of getting a secondary school diploma the way I had to. If your money isn't tight, but it's just not right, then check this out and don't ever say that I didn't give back!

I love to learn, and since I rarely leave my apartment, I'm thinking my world view as seen through the eyes of Maury Povich and Jerry Springer guests may be becoming a little skewed, but I'm confident and emboldened by the fact that when I decide to reintegrate myself back into society and maybe think about a career change, there are places that I can go. Not many know this about me, but I've always had kind of a fascination with gun smithing. So I know I have a future, as long as I can bring my comforter.