blame it on la

Ahhhhhh. So I created this little corner of the Internet to rail against the unfairness of circumstance (specifically mine) and the fact that I hate Los Angeles. Rest assured, I've not wavered in my mission as the varying degrees of irrational emotion I have about this place would take an army of psychiatrists decades to unravel. I will say this however, things are looking up. Why you ask? Mostly because, like my idol Snake Plisken, or Kurt Russell if you're too cool to love on the B movies. I managed to escape from LA, if only for 7 way too short days. It's true though. I some how managed to pack a bag, hop a plane, gird myself for the ridiculous long term parking fees and get the heck out of Dodge. For the record, it was awesome.

My home state status may be considered a little sketchy by some, given that I never actually lived in the United States until I was 19, but I think it's fair and in no way out line to say that New York City, and especially the borough of Brooklyn are what I would consider to be my home. One week is nowhere near enough time to return after 2 years in exile and try to reconnect with all the people you've missed during your time serving ungrateful super models and ducking wildfires.

No question, my return to the NYC was the best vacation I've had in my life, and I like to think I've had a few (by "think" I mean "know"). You know you're home when the minute you get back it feels like you never left, except for that nagging voice that keeps asking why you left in the first place. Lucky for me I was able to shut that little bugger up toot sweet.

Anyway, to celebrate my renewed love affair with my home, I decided to make a list of things that make New York rule and by transitive property make LA suck. Ok, here we go.

1. New York's energy is second to none, it's as alive at 5am as it is at 5pm

2. Unlike Los Angeles if you walk someplace in NYC it doesn't automatically mean you're homeless, turns out everyone walks, because we have legs!

3. Bars are open way past 2am...nuff said

4. You can walk outside and hail a cab, none of this "it'll be there in 15 minutes" crap, unless you choose to of course.

5. The Subway actually takes you places! Would someone PLEASE explain the LA subway system to me? I just don't get it.

Um, nice subway LA

6. Not that I eat them, but bread products like pizza and bagels taste like pizza and bagels in New York. I never thought I'd buy into the whole "the water makes the dough taste different" thing. I was wrong, and I certainly didn't know that "taste different" meant "tastes like paper." Hey LA, fix the water! Gosh!

Mmmm...I used to like bagels

7. The architecture consists of more than strip malls and donut shops that sell Chinese food. No really, dirty left over buildings from the 70's with nail salons and English as a Second Language classrooms have never been that sexy to me.

8. New York has amazing public parks that people actually want to go to, no it's true!

Prospect Park, Brooklyn

9. The anorexic to eating person ratio in New York City is about a quarter of that to the ratio in the city of angels. LA, please make it stop, NYC ladies are so much hotter. Turns out eating is healthy.

10. Sure it's an easy one, but would you believe? New York looks different with every season..turns out there are no palm trees, and it snows! I never thought in a million years I'd be caught up in a dust storm...in January.

There are a million more, but I think I made my point. Anyway, while I'm not particularly glad to be back, I'll forever covet the experience of going back. Until the next time at least.