blame it on la

I haven't thought of Sinead O'Connor in years. This song sort of rules.

What the?! Who ever thought this would happen!? Three years after declaring my hatred for the city of Angels, I'm back again. All aboard the Shame Train! First impressions...It was better when I had a sweet ride and an awesome apartment and Prada shades. I'm not hating on my rented Ford Focus, air mattress, and cheap sunglasses, just saying it's different, that's all. I can adjust. Too bad I'm too embarrassed to valet my sex mobile. One thing I have noticed is that my iPhone gets signal all the time here, so suck on that Chicago! So far that's pretty much the only thing that's better about this place. In the meantime, it's Friday afternoon, so I guess I'll go park on the 405 and think about all the poor decisions I've ever made.

Wow! It's about time. What a great day! Our president is going to be the first incumbent president to appear on a late night talk show. Awesome. Not just awesome, but super awesome. Don't get me wrong. I don't think it's awesome because I care what he has to say. I'm pretty sure he'll talk about the economy and how we'll have to make tough decisions in order to come out the other end of this national/worldwide crisis. Jay might even squeeze in a joke or two about basketball. I don't really expect him to say much. In fact I hate to admit that I'll even be home to watch since it's on a Thursday night. Nope, the reason I'm excited is because it seems like ole Barry has finally figured out that people who don't work in the daytime are sick and tired of him constantly busting in on "The View" with his press conferences. Yeah, way to make me miss "Hot Topics" dude? I need my daily dose of Sherri Shepard cluelessness and Hasselbeck psychosis to get me through the day. I just can't get that when the President busts into my programming once a week at 11am sharp.

I can't be the only person who's excited about this. People seem to think that Big Barry hitting Leno is some hip way for him to meet the people and open himself up to some of the best softball questions this side of the RNC. I submit to you that the reason Mr. B is finally taking his message to late night, is because the networks are tired of giving him free airtime and losing money every time he feels the need to update us on this 'broke down' economy. With Barry O hitting up Jay Leno, everybody wins. People forget that Jay Leno isn't all that funny and Mr. B gets to get his message across while looking cool and in control. Most importantly NBC can jack up their advertising rates for Jay's anxiously awaited prime time show. Synergy baby. Hey man, whatever works. I'll be in bed by then anyway.

New York is an amazing city with a bajillion things to do. There aren't many things here that you can't do. Unless you want to park your car for free. Other than that, anyone who lives here should count themselves as one of the lucky ones, I'm just sayin'. Having said that, an unfortunate byproduct of this city's unmitigated awesomeness is the fact that everyone wants to live here. Especially in or as close to the city as possible. Sadly this fact has led to outrageous rents and seemingly rocket fueled gentrification as developers and young professionals push further up an out in an effort to score themselves a piece of the island. A 2 bedroom apartment in Harlem can go for as much as $3,000 a month when 10 years ago it was hard to get a cab to take that far north. The same goes for Brooklyn. Sure Brooklyn is no Manhattan, but hey, it's got cache and for the most part it too rocks pretty hard. I'm pretty sure that no one will ever say that about Queens...just putting it out there, but still.

People will go through unbelievable lengths to secure an apartment in the city. In fact I know a person who couch surfed for a year while waiting for a dead man's apartment to be cleared out and get out of probate. The competition for a great place to live here is fierce and while I'm not currently looking for a place to live it's always nice to keep an eye open. I mean you never know if something is going to pop up. Stranger things have happened, or so I'm told.

One day I was minding my business, watching daytime TV like I do (it's my favorite) when what I can only describe as an interesting commercial for a moderately priced apartment complex called "Flatbush Gardens" came on. At first I ignored it, but it turns out this thing is ubiquitous and runs 17,000 times a day, What really piqued my interest while listening to this commercial in the background were the random and seemingly fantastical claims that were being made. Let's just say that they had some really interesting selling points. In the ad an apartment manager boasts that each apartment will be getting a $5,000 in appliance upgrades, but in the commercial the upgraded appliances look like they're from the 70's. At one point a lady; probably a tenant at gunpoint says something like "These apartments are gorgeous after we finish renovating them!" Really? What about before the renovation? It gets better! Each apartment comes with an "intercom system" to buzz in potential guests! To that I say "way to step it up Flatbush!" You'd think that with the fancy gas stove and the door buzzer they would be out of things to offer, but hold on to your hats, because, according to this commercial, Flatbush Gardens is close to everything...including...wait for it...the city!! Really? Including the city? Sign me up! If there is one thing I'm looking to be close to it's the city I live in, so that's going to work out nicely. Luckily "everything" was later revealed to be Chinese food, and McDonald's so that's all cleared up. Okay, one thing I did notice was that with this hype and these wonderful "amenities", they rarely show the actual buildings. I'd say that this is because when you do see them, the first thing that came to my mind was a project from a 70's blaxploitation film. The buildings were a little scary, but hey it's New York. The real question is, what would you pay to live in this urban wonderland a mere 45 minutes outside of the city? How about $1,140.80 for a 1 bedroom. Well, now it's just obvious that something is really wrong with this place. I mean that's the equivalent of a dollar in apartment money.

I decided I needed to do some research to see what I could find out about this little slice of heaven. Here's what I found. First of all I feel bad for going through this without providing and example of what I'm talking about, so here is the commercial. Sadly it's not the version that comes on a zillion times a day, but it'll do. I have to say every time i hear the little guy talk about how safe and wonderful the place is, it just makes me giggle.



Whew! Well after watching that enlightening commercial starring Opie and his wife, is there any reason why I wouldn't want to pack up my gear and move out there. I figured that in addition to research, I'd find what other people had to say about this overlooked urban wonderland. Since I'm in this for the greater good much like Oprah, I figured I'd share some of my most useful findings!

1. Anonymous says - This place is the worst. I had a 1 year lease and could not wait for it to end. It was like a jail sentence. From my initial move in day, I had issues. A person was always sleeping outside in my hallway. I had to call security, because they do not patrol the buildings. The courtyards are a mess, because the people who are they do not care about the property.

Hmm well, people sleeping outside your door..that's not so bad is it? Grow a pair douchebag!

2. Another Anonymous says - Flatbush garden only had name change about 3 yrs ago copying Maple Gardens logo. Before that it was called and still known as Vanderveer Estates. And I have lived there 35 year. They have gangs there was a woman was raped and killed on my floor they just recently finished renovating the poor woman's apartment. They have a rodent and roach problem and have been fined and sued because of neglect.
And they are charging for AC nows $339 or $369 for one , $669 for 2 units and and over $900 for 3 units .

Whatever dude, there is crime everywhere...cry me a river.

3. MS_GREEN says- I WOULD FEEL SAFE LIVING IN THE WILDERNESS WITH A PACK OF WOLVES AFTER ME EVERYDAY. THROUGHOUT MY 8 YEARS LIVING IN FLATBUSH GARDENS, I MUST SAY WERE THE ABSOLUTE WORST YEARS OF MY LIFE. THERE WERE SO MANY DEAD BODIES FOUND IN THE GARAGES AND ON ROOF TOPS OF THE BUILDINGS. IN ORDER TO HAVE ANY REPAIRS DONE, YOU'D HAVE TO GO THROUGH HELL IN ORDER TO GET ANYTHING REPAIRED. YOU MAY REMEMBER FLATBUSH GARDENS AS THE OLD "VANDERVEER ESTATES". I BELIEVE CHANGING THE NAME DOESN'T CHANGE ANYTHING BECAUSE THE NEIGHBORHOOD IS STILL THE SAME.

Okay Ms. Green! Holy capital letters, I think we can all read in sentence case just fine. Dead bodies on the roof and in the garage? It could totally be worse! Would you rather the bodies be in your apartment?

4. Fpecht has this to say - I cannot believe that there would exist even one person that would attest that these apartments are safe or clean....I live here and it is a nightmare....I've never been to prison or hell, but I'm imagining this is close.
The video is a farce. The hallways are full of litter and human pee and graffiti. Teenagers and other tenants use the hallways as extensions of their own apartments, getting high and having parties at all hours of the night.
If you don't mind excessive noise (people outside in the middle of the night partying), gunfire, hovering helicopters and sirens, this is the place for you. If you desire cockroaches, bedbugs,and mice as roommates, sign up, you have found your dream

Personally I have trouble sleeping when it's too quite, so hovering helicopters and sirens might be just what I need! So yes! Maybe I have found my dream!

5. Oh here's one - Yuppies go home! Thank you for coming and not really taking part in the neighborhood, judging and condemning our living methods (for those shocked by weed, naked chests, loitering in the hallway,... "we're hangin' out man, that's it!"), contributing to raising rents as well as people evictions and tree removals for beautification. People here are living a certain way so plan on integrating it or don't come here. I'm happy to be part of this neighborhood, some have been living here for decades and now feel happy that the place is safe but fear to have to go soon.
So to those comming to New York to live like in a TV show but have to end up in a place that you don't really like but you take it because you can't afford more: ---- YOU!! Go home! This is not Chelsea, this is East Flatbush. We don't want no coffee shop for y'all to hang out in there in the future.

Yeah losers! What's wrong with naked chests, weed and loitering in the hallway! Prissy bitches! what's wrong with "hanging out" man?!

So there you have it. If i wasn't planning on moving out there before, I'm definitely on my way now! It seems like a deal, and besides...it's close to everything!

Houston Chronicle

And We're Back! Some might say that 62 days is a long time to go between posts on what's supposed to be a weekly blog, but to those people I say "what do you know?" Some might think that just because I fall asleep every night to commercials for vocational schools, and have started attending soap opera conventions on a monthly basis, that I some how have all the time in the world to write down my thoughts and come up with ideas. Well, they'd be wrong about that too. The fact is that living on unemployment is a full-time job, sure it's one that involves watching a lot of TV, but that doesn't make it any less serious.

You might ask, "Will, how can you compare sitting on your couch, watching TV and eating ice cream all day, to a full time job?" Well, anyone who has to ask that question has clearly never been unemployed in the state of California and they most certainly haven't been up against the most evil of all organizations, California's very own Employment Development Department or EDD which I believe is actually short for "Evil Doing Douchebags", but you have to reach a secret level of frustration and despair in order to unlock that name and be allowed to call them that...officially at least.

For those who don't know, EDD handles the unemployment claims in California, or so they say. This is an agency that is so rooted in evil, so secretive, so diabolical, so just plain shady, that you can't even go to their offices, unless they tell you where they are. No seriously, you actually have to wait until they send you a letter with the secret location on it in order to get an audience with them. Going to the EDD offices is like going to see the wizard, except there are no kindly scarecrows and rusty tin men; it's all winged monkeys and falling houses. No. Actually it’s worse.

My EDD nightmare began November 11, 2007. I remember it like it was yesterday, mostly because that’s when my world came crashing down. That was the day EDD told me my claim had expired and I'd need to refile I order to continue claiming my benefits. I thought "well that's odd, I've only ever gotten two checks...in my life" But since I still had some meat on my bones and was naive enough to believe the state wasn't going let me starve to death, I opted to go through the motions and fill out the paperwork. In the meantime, two of my friends told me that EDD had been withholding their checks as well, and had been for a very long time, because their "identities couldn't be verified" Truthfully all I really thought about that situation was "Gee, that sucks, guys. That's not gonna happen to me." Turns out I'm a cocky ass and I'm almost always wrong! One week later an oddly shaped envelope showed up in my mailbox with a letter asking me to send in a copy of my drivers license, a pay stub, a utility bill, a blood sample, and three fingernails in order to prevent any fraud in my claim and verify my identity. While I dutifully packed the envelope with the required materials it occurred to me that this may take a while as my friends had already taken a number for their tour in purgatory weeks before me and had yet to be served. I sent in my work on December 5.

December 20th was a warm day in Los Angeles, I'd say it was around 74 degrees. I walked outside and promptly stepped in a mud puddle courtesy of the perpetually sprinkling sprinklers the night before but that’s not what made this day so special. December 20th was special because it was the 5th day I hadn't eaten because EDD were still establishing who I was even though they'd been sending checks to my house forever apparently I’d changed form and now required investigating. I decided to try my luck and call EDD and low and behold, I got through! When I told them I'd sent the requested paper work in 15 days ago, they informed me that while yes they had received all of my materials 13 days before, the standard wait time is 15 business days and I was only on day 9, if we're talking business days. I could however write a letter and fax them my car bill, credit card statements, and if applicable, an eviction notice which according to EDD may or may not speed up the process.

After six weeks, a lot of crying, and an obscene amount of ramen noodles, I finally got a check on December 30th! I have a feeling it had less to do with the very sad letter I sent them and more to do with not wanting to be named in a lawsuit I was filing about my ridculously high sodium levels and my geyser like blood pressure. Ramen really does bring us together. Remember to only use half of the flavor packet, it may save your life.

I'm not sure how I feel about the fact that California tried to starve me to death, or that they had me on the verge of a nervous breakdown. I mean I guess it could have been worse. I suppose I made it through because in the back of my head I always knew that I still had some cardboard boxes left over from my move that I could have lived in, had it come down to that. Thanks Cali, you're the bestest.

As I spend my days nestled in the relative safety of my comforter, experimenting with recipes I see on the Food Network (Giada DeLaurentis I really do love you), and wondering how many loads of laundry I can do with 17 quarters. I sometimes forget things happen outside of this happy place I call "Big Will Manor." At no time was this point clearer to me than on the day I decided to venture out to spend time with a friend of mine who happens to live down the street. A big part of surviving while your job is on hiatus is finding another person who's also home all day everyday. It's a mental health imperative. In case your wondering, people who work from home count too. In this particular situation we had both, so there were three of us. We were hanging out and talking about, well, probably nothing really when one of my friends casually mentions that there had been a carjacking some days ago in between our mutual blocks. Had I not already been reclined, I more than likely would have been floored. Mostly because it's not like we live in Compton! I mean, I don't think there is anyone on the planet who can boast the amount of C-List Soap Stars I see in my local grocery store everyday! So I was shaken (well, sort of).

It took a few weeks, but I finally came to grips with the fact that I apparently now live in South Central LA. Ok, maybe it's not that bad, but still, you'd think that I'd be hyper-vigilant after hearing such a terrifying tale, but lucky for me, there was no need since I rarely go anywhere, but then it happened again! I was with my friend enjoying a quiet and wholesome evening of light beer and biscuits when she hits me with "OMG! I was totally almost carjacked last night!" I was all "GET OUT!" She went on to explain that it was late at night, she'd gotten into her car when she saw a man step out of the shadows, with his had behind his back, creeping towards her and her parked car. Scary right? Well, the story ends with a NASCAR style, peel out that involved some sort of awesome reverse maneuver and then a smoky tired escape. Other than being traumatizing, it was all good.

After hearing those two stories I started thinking about the whole carjacking thing and I can't figure out what it's all about. I know I'm no gangster, and I know that short of providing 50 cent with his 10th bullet wound, I'll never have any type of street cred, but WTF? I just don't get it. It seems to me that that people who carjack people on the street when there isn't an emergency are the sorriest posers EVER! There aren't many excuses for jacking a car. Although I think as with anything, there can be extenuating circumstances. For instance, I understand if say, you rob a bank, and maybe you stayed in the bank a little too long and your crew took off in the van and left you behind. Well, duh! You're stuck in the middle of daytime traffic with a duffel bag full of money on your back, shooting up the sidewalk with your semi-automatic and you need to get away. Well, yes! You should be allowed to jack cars! I say, "Do whatcha gotta do, you have carte blanche, jack away my friend. Jack away." I'm more than cool with that.

What I have a problem with, are the cranked out douchebags who hang out in alley's waiting for a person to unlock, get in, and then start their cars before finally making their move. What kind of sense does that make?! These people have to be the lamest, laziest criminals ever! I mean stealing cars is as old as well...cars. I'd call it an art form but for some reason I don't even think it's that hard. I mean they make tools specifically for stealing cars! How hard can it be?! Have we come to the point now where car thieves don't even know how to execute their crime of choice?! I've slept through a few classes in my day, but I'm quite sure that if my chosen profession was car thief, I'd pay attention and learn how to do it. This is why this country is so far behind everyone else! We invented the horseless carriage but refuse to learn how to steal one? I'm embarrassed! Just sayin'. Oh, and also, I saw Menace II Society, there's no excuse for jacking someone at the drive-thru for their rims and a double burger with cheese either, although that was a damn funny scene.When I was little I used to love to watch movies and see how cool the bad guy was. I mean they were never dumb, never lazy, they had cool lairs and awesome private monorails. When push came to shove they reached down and grabbed a handful of wires and started the car before peeling out in the city streets. It makes me sad that I'd probably be less afraid of criminals if they took their work more seriously.

Ok, so it may seem like I've been writing a lot about commercials lately. Well, I have, but there's a perfectly good explanation for that. Turns out that the lovely program that provides me with both my bread and my butter is on hiatus until the beginning of the year. Loosely translated that means that my days consist mostly of rolling out of bed, carrying my duvet to the couch, preparing my nutritious breakfast of oatmeal, bananas and chocolate syrup, and then watching The View to see if Sherri Shepard will try to make an argument against trees producing oxygen. Once I'm done with that I always look forward to my daily paternity update on Maury. I can't stress it enough people, knowledge is power and I just know that one day I'm going to meet someone on the street and be able to say "OMG! I totally know who your father is! Your mom was awesome when she jumped up and did the splits after the test proved Cantrone really was your daddy! Good luck to you and make sure he takes care of his responsibilities!" See had I not had the information, that whole exchange would have been pretty awkward! I just like to do my part.

I've learned so much watching daytime television and I'm not afraid to say that I love it, after all making it is my chosen profession. For example did you know that there are schools or "colleges" out there that will let you attend classes even without a high school diploma or a GED? They're awesome, they'll work with you before work, they'll work with you after work. Hey, they don't want you to do it for your mom, not for your kids. No! They want you to go for you! All you have to do is make the call! As a matter of fact, some of America's best and brightest video game designers are alumni of a few of these esteemed establishments. No, really! Look!
Dude! Sweet! Dude! Sweet!

See! If I was sitting in an office somewhere like some douchebag, I would have never found out about this awesome institution and all the opportunities it has to offer! I just wish someone would have told me about these super schools when I was trying my hardest to get on the bottom of the honor roll. Well, I like to spread the word, so that others don't have to suffer the injustices of getting a secondary school diploma the way I had to. If your money isn't tight, but it's just not right, then check this out and don't ever say that I didn't give back!

I love to learn, and since I rarely leave my apartment, I'm thinking my world view as seen through the eyes of Maury Povich and Jerry Springer guests may be becoming a little skewed, but I'm confident and emboldened by the fact that when I decide to reintegrate myself back into society and maybe think about a career change, there are places that I can go. Not many know this about me, but I've always had kind of a fascination with gun smithing. So I know I have a future, as long as I can bring my comforter.

Ahhhhhh. So I created this little corner of the Internet to rail against the unfairness of circumstance (specifically mine) and the fact that I hate Los Angeles. Rest assured, I've not wavered in my mission as the varying degrees of irrational emotion I have about this place would take an army of psychiatrists decades to unravel. I will say this however, things are looking up. Why you ask? Mostly because, like my idol Snake Plisken, or Kurt Russell if you're too cool to love on the B movies. I managed to escape from LA, if only for 7 way too short days. It's true though. I some how managed to pack a bag, hop a plane, gird myself for the ridiculous long term parking fees and get the heck out of Dodge. For the record, it was awesome.

My home state status may be considered a little sketchy by some, given that I never actually lived in the United States until I was 19, but I think it's fair and in no way out line to say that New York City, and especially the borough of Brooklyn are what I would consider to be my home. One week is nowhere near enough time to return after 2 years in exile and try to reconnect with all the people you've missed during your time serving ungrateful super models and ducking wildfires.

No question, my return to the NYC was the best vacation I've had in my life, and I like to think I've had a few (by "think" I mean "know"). You know you're home when the minute you get back it feels like you never left, except for that nagging voice that keeps asking why you left in the first place. Lucky for me I was able to shut that little bugger up toot sweet.

Anyway, to celebrate my renewed love affair with my home, I decided to make a list of things that make New York rule and by transitive property make LA suck. Ok, here we go.

1. New York's energy is second to none, it's as alive at 5am as it is at 5pm

2. Unlike Los Angeles if you walk someplace in NYC it doesn't automatically mean you're homeless, turns out everyone walks, because we have legs!

3. Bars are open way past 2am...nuff said

4. You can walk outside and hail a cab, none of this "it'll be there in 15 minutes" crap, unless you choose to of course.

5. The Subway actually takes you places! Would someone PLEASE explain the LA subway system to me? I just don't get it.

Um, nice subway LA

6. Not that I eat them, but bread products like pizza and bagels taste like pizza and bagels in New York. I never thought I'd buy into the whole "the water makes the dough taste different" thing. I was wrong, and I certainly didn't know that "taste different" meant "tastes like paper." Hey LA, fix the water! Gosh!

Mmmm...I used to like bagels

7. The architecture consists of more than strip malls and donut shops that sell Chinese food. No really, dirty left over buildings from the 70's with nail salons and English as a Second Language classrooms have never been that sexy to me.

8. New York has amazing public parks that people actually want to go to, no it's true!

Prospect Park, Brooklyn

9. The anorexic to eating person ratio in New York City is about a quarter of that to the ratio in the city of angels. LA, please make it stop, NYC ladies are so much hotter. Turns out eating is healthy.

10. Sure it's an easy one, but would you believe? New York looks different with every season..turns out there are no palm trees, and it snows! I never thought in a million years I'd be caught up in a dust storm...in January.

There are a million more, but I think I made my point. Anyway, while I'm not particularly glad to be back, I'll forever covet the experience of going back. Until the next time at least.

So, I grew up in that ambiguous period between the 80's and 90's. It sort of puts me in the unique position of rocking out to the tail end of one era and the very beginning of another. That may just make me awesome. Here are the facts, it turns out, I'm a music lover. I love it all. Rock, wave, punk, metal, pop, hardcore, techno, you name it. I mean, I'd be lying if I didn't admit to enjoying the occasional country ditty. Lucky for me, I'm in my early 30's which I believe gives me license to no longer care what people think about my musical choices. Having said that, I'm wondering if anyone has tickets to the Hootie and the Blowfish show next week.

Here's what I really remember. Those days where metal, specifically hair metal was playing itself out, you know, when at first it ruled and then it became a caricature of itself. I'm not saying I didn't love the music, in fact I almost peed on myself last year when Kevin Dubrow of Quiet Riot knocked me over coming out of the bathroom in the Houston airport, and no there was no foot tapping or hand touching involved! Looking back, it was probably just because I hate using airplane bathrooms and it was a long flight...not the point. The fact is I've probably done more to keep these aging good time rockers alive and eating than their own families, still not the point. I think we all know what I'm really talking about. I'm talking about that sad period when every one's favorite ballerina Kip Winger was "headed for a heartbreak", when Warrant had their "Cherry Pie," when Motley Crue replaced Vince Neil with John Corabi. Yes, those days. When we all knew it was basically over.

It's no secret what killed the hair metal, I mean other than the communists. By 1990 glam rock had become the musical equivalent of a Twinkie. Sure it tasted good going down, but what exactly were we getting out of it? Just a bunch of empty musical calories. By 1991 when Nirvana broke with "Smells Like Teen Spirit" I think we all felt so bad and dumb for listening to music that only made us feel good, that it was easy to accept and act on the feigned and prefabricated angst that the record companies convinced us we'd been ignoring all of our lives. Who knew that apparently we all had problems that we'd been covered up by the Soma like effects of the lyrics of Bret Michaels and Paul Stanley. Weird what you miss out on when you don't know you're supposed to be miserable.

I remember the backlash was swift and harsh, almost as bad as when America turned it's back on it's other forgotten mistress, let's call her "Disco" and if we're being honest and keeping it current, I might even say boy bands, but whatever. I'm sure not many people remember that in 1993, hair metal poster boys Poison, like Motley Crue, released a new album with a new member. That album was called Native Tongue. Poison's previous album Flesh & Blood sold 8 million copies, whereas Native Tongue barely managed to sell 500,000 copies. Oddly Pearl Jam's Ten still manages top move almost 20,000 units a week. Even as most of these party bands tried to mature, it seems the nation was still suffering from the guilt of spending a decade being happy and missing the memo that music was supposed to "mean something."

So, now it's 2007 and music is all over the place. There is no universal message. Sure you have your emo, your alternative, your pop, nu-metal, neo-soul, but it's all pretty much the same crap. Rap is the new hair metal, instead of singing about partying and sexing (which they actually do), we listen to songs about Bentley's, bling, and yachts. It's all just a big ol' cartoon. Let's be honest, with lyrics like "Na Na My Sex Drive all Night like a Trucker." Really? That's kinda hot Foxy! Good thing I don't have kids. Oddly, it's not even the irony of the cycle that bothers me. The whole reason for this rant is because, the other day I saw a commercial that reminded me of exactly why I thought all those hair metal songs ruled in the first place, because they were GOOD SONGS! I'm not the biggest fan of Microsoft, but you can't tell me that the Xbox 360 commercial featuring a chorus of children singing Nothing But A Good Time" by Poison isn't awesome. No seriously. It's so sublime that it took me me two viewings to figure out that I was hearing a preschool version of a song that helped carry me through my past. It didn't make me want an XBox 360, but it definitely made me realize that no matter what anyone says, I have awesome taste in music. See for yourself.
click here to see Poison's original masterpiece